After a month of preparation, a lot of money spent, a very stressful weekend prior, and one huge emotional breakdown, I took boards. That was on Tuesday. Monday night was the emotional breakdown night, complete with statements of "I'm not going tomorrow. I'm not taking that test." I don't think my husband knew what to do with me (I didn't even know what to do with me!).
Anyway, I did go Monday morning to take the test. I was feeling much better. Either that or I had no tears left, I'm not sure which. I got finger-printed, got my pictures taken, they locked up my coat, purse, and even my cute scarf. I got finger printed again, informed of the test rules, finger printed once again, and was ushered into the room of doom.
I took the test. It was terrible. Almost all of my questions were on medications, and I didn't know any of them. I guessed. On all of them. Some were educated guesses, and some were "Oh, B sounds like a good answer." On boards, priority questions are the highest level you can get. I just about cried when I got my first priority question. I had prayed so hard that I wouldn't get all 265 questions (the maximum number you can get), so when I got passed75 (the minimum amount) I kinda panicked about having to take all 265. But the computer shut off at 78 questions. I raised my hand to let the test administrator know I was finished. I was ushered out, and finger printed twice more (just to make sure it was still me in there).
I had failed boards. I envisioned how I would tell everyone. I knew they'd all want to know. Honestly, I wasn't so much worried about the humiliation anymore, I was more worried about how long Methodist would hold my job. And honestly, I hardly cared how I did, I was just so relieved to be done with that test!
Anyway, I got my results just this morning, about 45 minutes ago. I started crying. And by a miracle, I passed. Seriously, all the glory has to go to God, because there is no way I would have passed unless it was His will. I am so thankful right now. I just keep repeating it over and over: "I passed. I can't believe I passed." And now I am officially Heidi Knapp RN BSN.