Friday, March 27, 2009

Lacking in post material

Work is going wonderfully. I love my job. And when I come home, my hands and my clothes smell like a newborn. I love it. :) And yes, I have been accused of being baby crazy.

Anyway, my title says it all. And since this is the case, I will share two stories with my readers that will probably make you think I'm a total idiot, or ditz, or something. But seriously, my family, husband and I would like to know how I get myself into these messes!!!

I think I was about 16 or so when the first mess occured. Plucking my eyebrows has never been something I particularly enjoy doing, and I won't spend the money to have someone else shape them nicely for me.

Actually, I prettty much never notice eyebrows (so if mine really need some work next time you see me, I probably just haven't paid much attention to them).

Anyway, I happened to be at Walmart one day and see these "do-it-yourself eyebrow waxing strips." Sounded easy enough to me, so I bought some.

Fast forward to the next time I noticed my eyebrows were turning into a uni-brow (spelling?). It was a Saturday night, and I thought I'd give them a try. I did.

They took all the hair off. They were worked wonderfully. Hurt like all get-out, but they worked.

Sunday morning I got woke up and headed to the bathroom, only to discover just how well those strips had worked. Not only had they taken my eyebrow hair off, they'd also taken off some of the skin, and I was graced with huge scabs and swollen eyes.


My mom made me go to church too.

Said it was good for my pride, or something like that.

Sadly, that didn't stop me.

Fast forward a few more years and into my married life. I've been a nail bitter ever since I can remember, and it drives my husband nuts! I've tried almost every trick in the book to get myself to stop, but nothing really works.

Even the motivation of having nice nails for my wedding failed. I bit them way down during lecture just 3 days prior to the date.

So much for nice nails.

And then I had another brilliant (really stupid) idea!! I'd use fake nails for about a week or so, and then I'd have longer nails, and they'd look so nice that I wouldn't want to bite them anymore.

I went to Walmart (again...seriously, I need to just get what I need and get out of there) and picked out my stuff. I took it home, eager to try out my idea.

Putting them on went fine, but they looked really fake, and really bad, so I decided to take them off. I soon realized that the only finger nail polish remover I had was the non-acetone stuff. And the instructions said to soak the nail in acetone fingernail polish remover.

Oh dear.

The glue eventually loosened on my nail, but because my nails are so short, some of the glue had gotten on the skin above my nail.

And it was NOT coming off. Beautiful.

I called Luke wailing about what was I going to do! Surprisingly, he didn't have any ideas.

Not even one.

So I called my trusty friend Elise, who really didn't have any ideas either.

I decided not to call anyone else, because I felt the need to preserve just a little bit of pride.

The fake nail eventually did come off, only after being pried at with a toothpick, and taking some skin off with it.

*sigh* I keep thinking that someday I'll grow out of getting into these messes. But I'll probably be getting into them right along with my kids.


wendi jo said...

oh Hyde... only you.

I haven't heard the nail story before. But, oh the eyebrows...

Abby said...

It's probably good you realize it- I mean, I said the same thing, and being a chronic nail biter myself it's just not getting any better.
I laughed hard though-I did the same thing(fake nails, couldn't get them off). I actually bit those way down just before my wedding!
I'm afraid we'll just always be nail biters.

I'm OK with that. haha

Mary said...

I will confess here that I, too, am a chronic nail biter. :P When I was in Jr. High, my mom took me to a nail salon to get fake acrylic ones put on...I think my nails lasted for about a week after the fake ones came off. Sigh.

Katie LeAnne said...

I remember the eyebrows! It looked painful!

the schros said...

ok- the eyebrow thing! How could I have missed that?! it must have been one of those Sundays I was away. I'm so disappointed. oh well, we still have lots of other remember whens :)

Jenny said...

*grin* your messes make me smile. I can't wait til you have ten little girls that are just like you- you'll have some great stories!

Anonymous said...

Just be glad you didn't use the wax strips on your top lip. A scab there would look like a mustache. I know "someone" who did that once where it took off the skin.
Aunt Sandy G