Thursday, September 9, 2010

My Independence

First off, I'd like to say that this post is not aimed at any of my friends/acquaintances that read this blog, it's simply my observations of my attitude in the past few weeks.

Now that I've scared everyone.... :)

I love my friends kids. I really do. I love to babysit them, and play with them when we're together. However, in the past few weeks I've noticed that I become more annoyed with them than I have in the past.

They come over, and they make a mess with toys, they touch my mirror (why this annoys me, I have no idea), they get in the way, they fuss and cry.

Just last night we were babysitting and just as I had dished up supper, "J" (he shall remain nameless) was getting into all the cupboards, had a dirty diaper, and was getting increasingly fussy. And I had to leave my plate of fresh hot food and change his diaper, give him some tylenol (I did have permission from his mother do so. I promise I don't just give out tylenol to fussy children), and distract him with some toys.

And when I finished, my plate of food was no longer hot.

And I was annoyed.

And while I normally would love holding my friends children, lately I've just let them take care of their own kids.

Cause having to deal with kids is annoying.

As I contemplated this new "attitude" last night (while lying in bed awake for what seemed like the ump-teenth hour) it occurred to me (again) that soon, I'll be one of those people that has to deal with a kid.

And I'll have to deal with a kid when I'm tired and don't feel good, and when I want a break from her, and when I just want to eat a fresh plate of food, and when I want to watch a movie in silence with interruptions.

And it occurred to me that maybe one reason why I've been getting annoyed by other people's kids is because I want to keep my independence for as long as I possibly can.

I think the unselfishness of having a child is going to be harder for me than I ever thought.

And while having to be unselfish isn't exactly fun, it'll certainly be VERY good for me!

Oh, and as a disclaimer, this does NOT mean you shouldn't call me to babysit or hang out with us anymore. :) I promise I do still love your children!

2 comments:

Kent ~ Lanae ~ Reilly said...

Heidi-
You reminded me a lot of myself as I read this post. Children bring so much joy to our lives and the times when you have to eat a cold meal don't compare to the many blessings of having kids. Each stage has it's struggles but with those come so many laughs. Right now our Reilly (2) has been talking so much. I find myself giggling often at what comes out of his little mouth...Just last night he was so upset that he had to pick up toys at Grandmas and go home...in the middle of his sobs he says "Jesus loves me this I know"...so when I wanted to spank him for throwing a fit...I smiled:) Being a Mommy is so much fun...but requires lots of grace and patience...Children are such a blessing and God has put them in our lives for so many reasons.

Love ya Heidi...oh, by the way...Grandmas are great...and they love their grandkids...I have my days where I can't handle my 1 kid...but Grandma can...don't feel guilty sending them there for a break...they were there too:)
Love,
Lanae Wiegand

The Sauders said...

Heidi,
I love this post! I love your honesty. And yes, how much I understand. This selfishness is simply one beauty of the refining process of parenting. :) Because of our sin we are oh, so much more selfish than we think and sweet Bridget will produce fruits of your sin that you didn't know where in you. While, all at the same time produce emotions and a love in your heart that you didn't know were possible but give you a glimpse into our Redeemer's heart. Welcome to the most amazing, wonderful world of refining, parenthood.